The beginning of a new school year can be a fun but stressful time. It is a fresh start with endless possibilities but it can also trigger many emotions for our children. They are excited to see their friends, nervous about new routines and sad that the fun of summer is over.
As we approach the first day of school, my wife and I try to share the experience with our kids. We reminisce about summer fun by discussing our favorite memories. We talk about school and all of the fun things they will be doing this year. We acknowledge that the night before is difficult and that the feelings they are experiencing are normal. I remember how hard it was to fall asleep on that night with all of the anticipation of the next day. When my son has trouble sleeping, he frequently talks about the top three nights that are hardest to fall asleep – the night before Christmas, the night before your birthday and the night before the first day of school…in that order. This year was no exception. He was out of bed several times in anticipation of that first day.
The next morning before waking them up, I paused for a moment and looked at my kids hoping they had a good night sleep and that any nervous feelings from night before would be gone. To be honest, I also felt a little guilty to be the one to officially end summer by waking them up for the first day of school. As we went through our morning routine, we talked about what to expect from the day. They seemed well prepared and excited to get to school. By this point, they had heard all of the speeches and I started to think about what was really going through their minds. We sat in silence for a few minutes while eating breakfast and then my oldest daughter gave me some insight when she said, “I wonder how many days it is until summer vacation.” I laughed and thought, that is exactly what I would be thinking if I was your age.
The hardest part for me about the first day of school is facing the reality that my kids are growing up. Seeing them in their school uniforms and comparing those first day pictures to previous years are unwelcome reminders of how much they have grown. In thinking about them growing up, I realize that it carries many of the same emotions that our kids feel on the first day of school – excitement, nervousness and sadness. Excitement for all the new experiences they will have, nervousness that they will be safe and make good decisions and sadness that I can no longer hold them in my arms and rock them to sleep at night.
Earlier this year while speaking with a group of students, Pope Francis offered the following advice about growing up and dealing with change. He said “life is a constant ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Farwell'” and that “in life we have to get used to the journey of leaving something behind and encountering something new.”
This is a good lesson for our kids, especially as they head back to school, but it is also a great reminder for us as we navigate through the series of ‘Good Mornings’ and ‘Farewells’ that we experience every day parents.