My family and I recently returned from a twelve-day road trip to the east coast where our travels took us to some of our nation’s largest and most historic cities. It was a once in a lifetime experience but the planning and lead up to the trip was incredibly stressful. Previous family vacations were highlighted by one or two destinations, but this trip involved more logistical planning as we were visiting five distinct locations each with different hotel and event reservations. It also involved several long days on the road as we traveled from city to city. Some families fly to their destinations and some drive. We are a driving family. As one of my favorite movie characters Clark Griswold says in the movie National Lampoon’s Vacation, “Getting there is half the fun.” My family vacations as a kid were driving vacations and I have always felt at peace out on the open road exploring this wonderful country. Now, as an adult with my own family, it brings me joy knowing we are all together embarking on an adventure that we will collectively share in our memories for the rest of our lives.
In preparing for this trip, I was feeling stressed and started to worry about how we were going to get everything accomplished before our departure date. Working long hours, remembering everything that needs to be packed and planning for six people to be gone for twelve days is stressful. I started to wonder if it was even worth it. Unfortunately, I have these feelings before every vacation, but I remind myself that the amount of effort it takes to prepare, only reinforces how important it is to get away.
I posted a video earlier this summer on the Catholic Dad’s Perspective YouTube channel about the importance of taking time off and spending time with family – Click here to view . It is easy to get caught up in the busyness of our lives especially when our kids schedules tend to be more involved than our own, but without the proper rest and the perspective that we gain by stepping away, we run the risk of getting burned out. Not taking a break can also be detrimental to our spiritual lives as well as prayer often gets squeezed out of our schedules the busier we become. We are the most helpful to our children and our loved ones when we are in the right frame of mind and in communion with God. Rest not only rejuvenates our bodies and our minds, but it also rejuvenates our relationship with the Lord. As Pope Francis stated in 2015, “Rest is so necessary for the health of our minds and bodies, and often so difficult to achieve due to the many demands placed on us. But rest is also essential for our spiritual health, so that we can hear God’s voice and understand what he asks of us.” Just as our bodies need food and water to survive, we also need time with our family and time with God to maintain a healthy life.
The best part of vacation for me is being together as a family without the usual distractions of life. I like to completely disconnect on vacation. I do not check emails or watch the news and I stay off social media. The only time I use my phone is when I am getting directions or taking pictures. I try to immerse myself in what we are doing and focus on spending time with my family. I also find that I am able to experience the fullness of God’s blessings when I am completely present in those moments. We will inevitably go back to our busy lives once vacation is over and with school starting soon, we will not see each other as often. I do not know what tomorrow will bring and life can change in an instant, so I cherish every minute I get to spend with my family. The closeness that is fostered on our vacations creates bonds that will sustain us through the busy times when our schedules are out of sync and help us to face life’s most difficult challenges.
This vacation was particularly special as the main features of the trip were returning to my hometown of New York and getting the chance to stay with and visit with my uncle. My connection to New York and my relationship with my uncle are two defining aspects of my life. I have not lived there in a long time, but the New York spirit of toughness, determination, and resiliency is part of my DNA and no matter where I live that will never change. As the popular song, the “Theme from New York, New York” states, if you can make it there you can make it anywhere. My uncle has been a major inspiration and influence in my life. My strong Catholic faith has its foundations in my relationship with him and he is one of my most adamant supporters. I spent the summers of my childhood hanging out and having fun experiences with him and I could not wait for my kids to do the same.
We had two stops along the way before arriving in New York, one in West Virginia and one in Washington D.C. Both were amazing and exceeded my expectations. Seeing the majestic beauty of West Virginia was breathtaking and experiencing the historical significance of Washington D.C. was inspiring, but nothing can compare to the emotions I experienced as we arrived in New York.
Entering the state, we crossed the bridge that my family would take as we began our family vacations when I was younger and immediately the memories of those trips and the strong family bonds that we created came back to me. As we drove through Brooklyn and passed buildings and neighborhoods on the way to meet my uncle, it was like watching a home movie of my childhood memories. Talking to my kids, I would point out important landmarks and explain what happened there years ago when I was their age. As I was detailing these memories to my children, the sights, sounds, smells and emotions from those experiences and the love I felt for the family members that I was with came back to me. As I was reliving these moments in my mind, I hoped that we were, on this vacation, building a similar collection of memories that they could look back on later in life.
We develop strong bonds to the places that we live and travel to but what really makes them meaningful are the people that we share them with and those that accompany us on the journey. Every memory that I have of a place that I have lived or visited is intrinsically tied to someone special in my life. With memories of my mom, my uncle and all my family members living and deceased, New York is that for me and I hope my kids will feel the same way about where they grew up and the places our travels have taken us and will take us in the future.
If we are truly honest with ourselves, as wonderful as they are, vacations can be difficult and stressful. Growing up, our vacations were never perfect, just as life is not perfect. There were money issues, car problems, arguments, and trips where anything that could go wrong, did go wrong. My mom passed away when I was ten years old, so I am glad that my parents made the time and found the money to take our yearly road trips even when the conditions were not ideal. Which, if you think about it, is ultimately the key to these trips. The timing and the situation will never be perfect. There will always be obstacles, and something will inevitably go wrong but the importance of taking a break from our busy lives and resting cannot be understated. It is rooted in the beginning of our shared faith story as even God rested on the seventh day after six days of creating the world. While they can be difficult at times and are always an expensive endeavor, vacations are extremely important to our health and to the health of our family. They foster bonding, create a sense of renewal, and give us time to connect with one another without the usual distractions. Even if you cannot afford to get away, as is the case with our family most years, it is still important to take time off, disconnect from daily life and spend time with loved ones.
As I was logging on to my laptop this morning, the operating system did not want to cooperate. No matter what I clicked on or tried to do, it was sluggish and could not perform the simplest task. There were several applications open, and it was trying to do too many things at once. The same thing can happen to us. As our schedules get full and we continue to get pulled in multiple directions, we get overextended and lose sight of what is truly important. I performed a reboot of my laptop to correct the problem and I like to think of vacations in the same way. By resetting our priorities of faith and family, reenergizing us for bearing life’s burdens that await us upon our return and creating a treasure trove of memories for our family to cherish for years to come, vacations are the ultimate reboot for our lives.