With all the responsibilities we have as parents, it can be difficult to find time to devote the proper attention to the people and things that are most important in our lives. This is especially true on those days where we are completely exhausted or are having a difficult day that leaves us feeling frustrated and defeated.
I had one of those days recently. It was a day where it seemed like nothing had gone right and every decision I made, no matter how well intentioned, had turned out to be wrong. Throughout the day I had been looking forward to watching my favorite baseball team in the playoffs and as I often do, I had recorded the game so I could watch it once the kids had gone to bed. It was an exciting game that had been intensely fought on both sides. The game was tied going into the home half of the ninth inning and I had hope that my team, the road team, could somehow pull out a victory. That, unfortunately, did not happen. They came out on the losing end by giving up a game winning home run that not only ended the game but ended the series. Just like that, their season was over. I remembered all the exciting games they had during the season and the number of wins they had amassed and thought, it was all for nothing. It had been a difficult day, and this was not helping my mood. In hindsight, it was a small thing to be upset about but, in the moment, it was just as important as anything else that had happened that day. Feeling frustrated, I started flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch to take my mind off what I had just witnessed. I was having trouble finding anything of interest and then I stumbled upon one of my favorite movies, Field of Dreams. It may seem strange that I would go from being upset at the outcome of a baseball game to then watching a movie about baseball, but I am drawn to this movie like a moth to the light and I stop and watch it whenever it is on.
One of the appealing aspects of the movie for me is that it highlights the importance the game of baseball plays in our lives. In the popular monologue delivered by James Earl Jones, the character of Terence Mann mentions how things have changed in our country over the years, but that the one constant has been baseball, which has marked the time. I can relate to that sentiment in a very personal way. When I think back on my life, baseball has been a constant source of comfort and regularity for me, and I can associate the timing of my past experiences by what was going on in the sport or with my favorite team at the time. I remember that my oldest daughter was born the year my favorite team won the World Series, that I watched the excitement of a World Series winning home run in my dorm room with my friends during my freshman year of college, or how, at the age of eleven, I immersed myself in anything related to baseball the summer after my mom passed away. The game, while giving us hope every spring with dreams of a championship at the end of the season, also serves as a gateway into the past and into our memories.
Depending on what I am experiencing in my life, there are different scenes that have an impact on me each time I watch the movie. On this viewing, there was one scene that particularly resonated with me. It is when Moonlight Graham is talking to Ray about his dreams of playing in the big leagues and he says, “We just don’t recognize life’s most significant moments while they’re happening. Back then I thought, well, there’ll be other days. I didn’t realize that that was the only day.” Hearing those words at that moment, made me realize how insignificant the outcome of the baseball game was in relation to what is truly important in my life- my family and my faith.
It is perfectly normal to get upset in the moment. It happens to all of us from time to time but instead of staying upset, we would be better served to have the moment and then let it pass. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and there are no do-overs in life so we should not spend today being upset about the outcome of a sporting event or any of the other unimportant things we choose to focus our attention on as a society. We need constant reminders to help us differentiate the important from the unimportant when it comes to choosing what we devote our time and energy to on a daily basis. We often forget how glorious life is and how wonderful it is to be alive and to be sharing in the goodness of all that God has created.
Thinking back to the movie, I do not know if it is possible to make it through the ending without tearing up, I know it is not possible for me. I am referring to the most famous scene in the movie where Ray gets another chance to have a catch with his father. In addition to what that scene represents, the love between a father and son, the love of baseball, and how generations can bond over one of the most basic aspects of the game, it also brings back memories for me of the countless times my dad, as a result of my endless begging, would have a catch with me at the end of a long day. Those moments meant so much to me at the time, but they mean even more to me now that I am a dad and can appreciate the struggles, time constraints and responsibilities that come with being a parent. I hope my children can look back fondly on their childhood with similar memories of the moments we spent together playing a board game, doing a puzzle, or kicking the soccer ball around the backyard.
The pastor at our parish has a favorite saying that he often uses in his homilies, “remember to keep what’s most important, the most important.” This is a reminder that we all need to hear on a regular basis, I know I certainly do, because it is easy to get caught up in the distractions of daily life. I do not think it was an accident that I came across Field of Dreams in that moment. There was a message that I needed to hear, and the movie served as the perfect vessel to deliver it to me.
When he first came to the field that Ray had built, Shoeless Joe Jackson asked, “Is this Heaven?” It, of course, was not but it felt like it because it contained the one thing he loved the most. By making it a priority to focus our attention on God and fill our lives with the people and things that are most important to us, we can have our own field of dreams, but, unlike the famous ball players of the past, we will not have to emerge from a cornfield in Iowa to experience it. If we are present in the moment, ignore the distractions, and remember to appreciate the glory of God and all that He provides, it will be right there in front of us.