As I was preparing for our recent family vacation, I was feeling stressed and started to worry about how I was going to get everything done. Vacations are important but working long hours, remembering everything that needs to be packed and planning for six people to be gone for a week is stressful. I also kept telling myself that somewhere along the way, I would find time for sleep. It was at this point when I started to wonder if it was even worth it. Unfortunately, I have these feelings before every vacation but I remind myself that the amount of effort it takes to prepare just reinforces how important it is to get away for a while. We also had an extra level of excitement for this trip because we were going with Grandma and Grandpa. I am extremely blessed to have such wonderful in-laws and thinking about the special memories that we were about to make for our family helped me through those final moments of preparation. As we approached our departure date it still felt like we were going to run out of time but after all the hard work and late nights, everything finally came together on the last day and we were ready to go.
We packed up the minivan and headed out for a week of fun in Orlando. When I told some people about our trip, taking four kids to Disney and Universal for the week, they thought I was crazy. When I added that we were driving, they mentioned that they could never do that and wished me luck. I get responses like that a lot when I mention how many kids we have so I am used to it by now. I love driving on vacations and my motto is “Getting there is half the fun”. This comes from my experiences on family vacations as a kid and from a famous Clark Griswold line in the movie Vacation. The anticipation that builds on the drive down, especially on the second day, is exciting and the effort and time it takes to reach our destination makes me appreciate it even more.
The trips we have taken with our kids so far have been wonderful but the best part for me was being together as a family for a week without the usual distractions of life. I like to completely disconnect on vacation. I do not check emails or watch the news and I stay off social media. The only time I use my phone is when I am getting directions or taking pictures. I try to immerse myself in what we are doing and to focus on spending time with my family. I like that I do not have to ask them what they did or how their day was since I was lucky enough to experience it with them. My main goal in life is to spend as much time with my family as possible. With the demands of my job, I see them for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours in the evening. Adding in activities, homework, and the sense of exhaustion we all feel at the end of the day, it is difficult to be fully present some nights so I appreciate any situation that allows me to spend more time with them.
Now, I will not pretend that our trip was perfect or without problems. I said a lot of Hail Mary’s on the way down, that drive was particularly rough, and there were many instances where everyone was pushed to their limit. During one of those moments of feeling that I was at my limit, I experienced something that refocused my attention and reminded me of the special gift that I was experiencing by being on vacation with my family. I was on the elevator, in one of my many trips to get something that we forgot in the car, when a family of four walked on – a mom, dad and two boys, probably pre-teen and teenage years. The boys, with their earbuds in, were watching videos and the parents had their heads down looking at their phones. They did not talk to each other and the only time they looked up from their devices was to see where they were going when it was time to get off. I will admit that sometimes this is what our life looks like at home with our phones and other devices. We try to realize when those instances occur and limit our exposure to technology as needed, but I also realize that sometimes we just need to zone out and stare at a screen for a few minutes and that is ok. I do not know this family’s situation so I will not judge them, but seeing that image was exactly what I needed at a time when I was exhausted and thinking about all of the difficult parts of our trip. It made me want to rush back upstairs and spend time with my kids, not just be in the same room with them, but to talk to them, listen to them and laugh with them. I wanted to take full advantage of our time together knowing that there were plenty of distractions waiting for us back home.
Some of the best memories of my childhood are from our family vacations. They were not perfect, but we created memories that have stayed with me and have motivated me to provide similar experiences for my kids. My desk at work is decorated with pictures of my family, many of them from our trips and other fun adventures. I cherish every minute I get to spend with my kids but our vacations, those times when we were all together and it felt like we were in our own world for a week, are what I think about most often. Our time on this earth is precious and we never know what tomorrow will bring. We do not get to choose how we spend all of our time but when given the choice, I will choose to spend it with my family. It is in these moments, when I am with them, that I feel complete knowing that I am fulfilling my most important role in God’s plan for me, being a husband and father.